Among several other topics, I was asked to comment on the apparent harshness of the Bible in its standards for sexual morality, mainly in the area of engaging in sexual activity outside of a marriage relationship. I wanted to start with this topic for several reasons: 1) the subject matter has a noticeable presence in daily life (including my own), and 2) many of my thoughts may be applicable to other biblical principles and so I may be able to kill several birds with one stone. At the very least, I hope to do as much damage as I can now so that I will be able to hit on certain grounds running if I reach them. While I hope to defend the Bible as moral, I also have a bit of a hesitation in addressing this particular subject simply because I feel underqualified: I am not in such a relationship, nor have I really been. Also, it may be obvious how little I have read on the scientific and psychological studies on sex; I may come off as an amateur to those who are more devoted to such studies. As far as I can tell, science does not run against any of my conclusions. Yet I can only give my own measly, inexperienced thoughts, as well as struggles, on what the Bible considers as maintaining purity.
First, I would like to address the attitude that many seem to have that the Bible is unreasonable in condemning sexual activities outside of a marriage relationship. Biblical chastity, one may argue, is either behind the times or a slap to the face of reality. The typical human being is designed to strongly want sex, is it not? Starving our appetites, then, seems nonsensical and arguably torturous. It seems much more reasonable for some to say that the Bible has become irrelevant (assuming it had relevancy to begin with) as humanity has evolved over time. The God of the Bible is considered too strict. Well, generally speaking, I can agree that human sexual urges are quite strong. However, generally speaking, it seems like exaggeration to say that resisting sexual urges is torturous or unreasonable. Sexual discipline can be difficult, certainly, but the burden is on the critic to prove how resisting sexual urges to the point of abstinence is unreasonable. Also, the accusation that the Bible makes unrealistic demands seems fallacious to me. I do not see why we must necessarily throw out certain passages of the Bible as dated because people do not happen to find them agreeable to their tastes. Frankly, it seems all too easy to accommodate to current trends by removing obstacles that had general approval in the past. As before, the burden of proof is on the critic to show why our sexual evolution is a good thing. It is just as reasonable to assume that humanity is in the wrong; the apparent harshness of the Bible’s sexual standards may mean that there has been a corruption of our sexual natures. A possible truth is that humanity has been dying; our senses have decayed and we have fallen further below the standard of real living, and we have made very little attempt at making progress back. I am not arguing that the Bible is correct in its conception of reality (at least, not yet); all I mean to show for now is that the God of the Bible is likely to be not so unreasonable in his expectations for the ideal sexuality. We would think a man ridiculous if he were to shout, “The world has gone dark!” when really he was losing his eye sight to old age.
I am not saying that the Bible is not demanding; admittedly, it is. I know how bitter and dull the taste can be at first. I would be no exception to a corrupted sexual nature, which brings me to my second point. If I am to defend biblical chastity, I feel I must show where I believe to have failed in keeping it. As a typical heterosexual male with blood in his veins, I relate to all the common titillations: eyeing at girls rather than looking away, generating fantasies and fancies of a sexual act in my mind, and masturbation. All that I just mentioned culminates into my ongoing conflict against pornography. Times of extreme boredom and loneliness can allow temptations to rush at me like a rabid dog. More often than not, circumstances form a perfect set of diversions for temptations to strike like an assassin. As a Christian, I have, because of the grace of God, been able to stand against temptation; even in times where I seem to have received no help, I have picked myself up to try again, learning about my impulses over time. But the game continues. I have only been fighting an infection that has not gone away; it slithers in the darkness and seeks to seep into my mind constantly. Pornography’s constant presence and shocking ease of accessibility certainly does not help matters. Perhaps I can shed some light on how I have managed to combat this infection.
Pornography is like inhaling second-hand smoke. Everyone often notes the rancid odor and is repelled by the mere thought of it. Yet there is a small relieving pleasure to be had if you stick around. After you’ve gotten past the odor, you are comfortable with it. “There is no downside,” you may say, “I am not actually smoking; just inhaling fumes.” After a while (sometimes only a few seconds), you have realized what is happening to your brain and the experience becomes nauseating. But it is too late; you are “into it” now. The fumes have seeped in and done their work. Your brain and body have taken a fancy to this new experience, and it will want more later on. It is then that you are hooked, and have given birth to a center of pleasure. If you want to think of it that way, a sexuality has developed in your mind.
I have found that use of analogy is helpful in understanding just how bad a certain addiction can be. My analogy is by no means the only one; you can probably make a better one. My point is to show the need to make the addiction as disgusting to my mind as much as possible. I must hate what I have become in order to make any progress. Certainly, making no attempt at all will get me nowhere. Exposing an assassin can be as simple as bringing light upon it, seeing it for what it really is. Sexuality is not an evil of itself; Christianity will immediately correct anyone who says otherwise. It is always spoiled good that is evil; a good thing being pursued in the wrong way (or sometimes a good thing being misplaced as the best thing). The sooner I realize my condition, the sooner I can try to fix it. If I can set my mind with the smallest intention of being better, I have done well.
My sexual satisfaction in enjoying pornography, separating one impulse from the whole of sexuality, is undoubtedly corrupt. I am designed for a woman, not for watching others “do it.” Pornography itself and enjoying it is a misrepresentation of what sex is. But that is not what you are wondering, is it? We are asking how accountable for our actions we are; can we be blamed for our corrupted impulses? Why should God get angry for my weak self-control that is constantly battered against as it is? As for me, I can perhaps be excused somewhat for my odd sexual behavior. If I were nice to myself (and that happens too often), I may even say that 99% of my behavior is no fault of my own; 99% may simply be a result of cultural presence, over-exposure (or maybe under-exposure), ease of accessibility, biological factors that I am ignorant of, and the corruption that has grown within humanity for many centuries. I could say that I have been helplessly influenced; I may be a mere victim of powers beyond my control that has predisposed the inevitable abnormalities that I am forced to live with. But I do see a problem. There is the 1%. That nagging, wicked, inexcusable 1%, and that small percentage may be too generous. That 1% is what I must be held accountable for. The 1% is my awareness of self, awareness of the ideal, and my free will. The 1% is pure “me.”
I do not want people to misread my being upfront as an attempt to be fed sympathy. Making excuses is precisely part of what has not made the problem go away. My “honesty” about my abnormality would be a very cheap honesty if I was not ashamed of said abnormality. As I have said, the 1% has fed my corruption. At least 1% has been a cruel consumer. Guilty is guilty. Ideal sexuality is hard to attain, and there may be many obstacles in the way of attaining it, but my attitude has been wrong. My lack of attempt to do anything to progress back to the ideal is the true sin. The 99% may earn me some sympathy, but are these passive forces that have shaped me what I will ultimately be judged by? One day, the 99% will be stripped away. I will have no weird psychology, corrupted biology, poor upbringing, pervasive culture, or unique curses to hide behind. The pure 1%, my very soul, untouched by any and all powers that be, the inner strength that no one can destroy, will be bare naked for all to see. The choosing creature will be all that is left. I will be seen for who I truly am.
Enough about me. It should not be surprising that either to have sex within marriage or not at all seems unreachable. That is what we have been taught. That is how we have been trained. Of course, the world probably would not say that chastity is a bad thing. An assassin would take a more subtle, alluring approach. I have been told that I cannot resist the urge. More and more propaganda is shoved in my face, offering me consummation of “my wildest desires;” wild desires that they themselves injected and agitated, obscuring the real thing. I have been told that I cannot be happy without sex. I have been told that I must express my sexuality or harm myself by repressing it. Such a false dichotomy! The worst part is that I have fallen for it. I did not resist, even when I knew it all to be a lie. I have a few choice words for my captors. I have never truly intended to try to control my impulses, but I now purpose it in my heart. The world has hardly expected me to try complete self-control, but I will surpass their lax expectations. There will probably be times when I am in desperate need of help, but all I have to do is ask. There may be times that I stumble, but I will get back up. I will not be enslaved by my body’s every whim. Instead, I will arouse my desires only if the time for doing so ever arrives. In the meantime, I have the freedom to have unhindered longing for another world first and foremost. I trust that I have the freedom to express that. So much for taking the focus off of me.
There is so much more that I could say here. I can only imagine how many routes this discussion has led to. For now, I will make one more point and I am done. My main intention here was to defend the biblical command to pure sexuality, but I also hope that this gives encouragement to readers. You are not too far gone that you can be excused for yourself, but you are conversely not irredeemable. You have the chance to partake in a process of grace that has long been at work for humanity’s benefit. Salvation is a status that cannot be earned, and what cannot be earned is of the Father of light and love. The redemption of soul and body is assured by the act of Christ, and even then I believe it is possible to restore the body to its former glory in this life. I think it is also worth mentioning that you, though accountable, will not be judged as if you had no obstacles to overcome. There can be room for benefit of the doubt. If you fail (which you will), you can pick yourself up and try again. The worst that you can do is to be content with anything less than your best. But also remember (and this is extremely important) that morality is not the point of Christianity. Read what I write carefully: a Christian is one who is saved by grace, and made pure by what Christ did. When you realize that you cannot be perfect, you realize the need to have perfection done for you. Jesus of Nazareth lived the only life that was worth living, and died so that the perfect life could be given to you. Your moral failure, your sin, your very self was covered by blood sacrifice. Once you have come to trust that Christ died for you, you can wage war like a champion with the knowledge that you are a recipient of grace and you are seen as blameless in spite of your failures. You must trust Jesus with yourself, and then (and only then) the process of being made perfect begins.
Just as bravery subdues natural fears of danger, chastity subdues natural lusts for sex. Both require effort, discipline, and immense courage. Above all, one must learn to depend on someone that is not of this world to fill his true longings. Make no mistake: complete chastity is the clear command. But God’s commands are much more like invitations, with his glory (and therefore our best) in mind. Urges are powerful monsters, but they provide opportunity for us to overcome them and our own selves. Put away the comfortable cowardice. Equip your armor and sharpen your blade. Stand as knights, and as rebels. Actually, you may be surprised at how easy it is to disarm the world if you simply try. As a good chap once said, “it is wonderful what you can do when you have to.”
augustusc8 